What you know, is what you know

All of us have driven by one of those instant oil change places that will change your oil in 15 minutes and I'll bet there are quite a few people that use those facilities. I'm here to tell you that not only are the people working there idiots, but the services they provide are pretty much worthless and over priced.

To some people, they already know that the instant oil change places are pretty much a waste. Lets take my example, I own a 2003 Honda Civic Hybrid. Nothing too special, the car is 7 years old, takes 0W20 oil as most hybrids which require the zero weight oil. Now I know about a pinky fingers worth of information on most cars. I know what makes them go and I know where the oil goes. I put the only oil I can find at the local auto shop which is made by Valvoline, which is a 0W30.

I know a case of this stuff is roughly about $44. The other day, I had the day off so I thought I would take the car and get the oil changed at a Valvoline instant oil place. I roll in there, the techs scan my bar code on my car, which pops up on their screen all the information about the car, make, model, year. Here was the first clue that the car REQUIRES zero weight oil. Nope, the tech didn't really take notice and they started on their trained inspection of the car, check the headlights, check the turn lights, check the air filter, and check the wipers. Most people are not morons, they can check their own lights. It's about service I suppose.

This is where clue number 2 should have come into play, they take the cap off of the oil, which says in pretty big letters and numbers, 0W20. Hmm, guess they didn't see that either. Clue 3 was it is written on the back of the car, "HYBRID". So the tech pops over to me with a laminated sheet of the different levels of oil that could be placed into the car. There is a synthetic which I'm told is top of the line recommended for cars over 100,000 with some sort of chemical that helps retain seals and what not. Then there is the mid tier and lower tier oil options.

At that point I ask the question, which one of these are the zero weight oils because (TA DA!) this is a hybrid. Which I can see on your monitor from the car, it's written on the oil cap, and there is a big label on the back of the car that says "HYBRID". The response was, I didn't know this was a hybrid and we don't carry the zero weight oils. Now I don't blame them for not carrying the oil, that is understandable as not every car on the road are hybrids, but what gets me is they should have realized this 10 minutes ago that they were unable to service this car.

Oh yeah, as it turns out, they don't carry my size air filter either. As the tech further explains to me, they can order some of the oil from some auto place and do the oil change, but they will have to charge me the $80 for the synthetic price. Having bought Valvoline syntethic oil before, I know roughly how much a case of the stuff sells for, which is $44. Let me get this straight, I have to stay here for about 45 minutes while someone runs over and gets a case of oil (or not even a case) and you expect me to cough up $80+ for the service?

It really comes to what you know, is what you know. These guys are trained very basically and equipped just the same. If you want to have some moron doing something to your car, then by all means please visit an instant oil change place. As much as I know about cars, I could have just saved myself the trouble and done it myself. Sad, but totally true.

Don't get me started on my new Mercedes. I've had it about a month, driven it maybe 500 miles at the most, now it's telling me that I need to get an oil change and whatever is part of service b. Totally a ripoff.

Bark O Rama!

No, not talking about a dog show or hosting some kind of weird tree party. I'm referring to everyone's favorite landscaping product, mulch! Were you aware that for about $200 you can cover someones driveway in 12 yards of mulch? Oh think of the fun you could have, toting the product from the driveway to various parts of your lawn in a tiny little wheelbarrow that holds about 10 shovel fulls of the stuff.

Lets just say I had a workout this weekend, that was very painful. The problem is I'll have to do it all over next year. At least the bark was a natural color and not dyed. The dyed stuff makes a terrible mess. At least now I have room for the new car, whoohooo!